I am finding such freedom

in these field notes.

It is a beginning of something, I can feel it.

I have told no one I am doing this. Not even John.

I’ve just made a start.

Doing it here on my website to hold myself

accountable, to have a record.

Drawings and writings in my diary tend to sit

unfinished, without point or focus.

For a long time I’ve been interested in the poster form.

But have been constrained by the heavy weight of running/owning a Studio.

As I slowly release that weight, slowly say goodbye to what was

I find myself going somewhere good.

Somewhere new.

What a fucking relief.

I was fucking around with text.

The phrase I’d writtent was “on the other side of this is everything.”

The words felt a bit cheesy to me. Or at least, that I’d covered that territory before.

But somehow the threshold text and the shape that implies threshold to me felt right.

so I kept going.

I fcked around some more, mistakenly got rid of the thing in everything.

And I thought,

oh yes, that’s it.

On the other side of this

is ever.

A big word, ever.

Unknown,

Unknowable.

Beautiful.

And absolutely the point I was trying to make,

come upon by accident

while searching.

Which is exactly the way of most things good.

The text for “on the other side of this is ever” is still a little uptight.

A little miss fcking goody two shoes can you read this.

But it’s most of the way there, and as Rick Rubin says, the way to move forward

is to make something

put it somewhere

and let it go.

Move on to the next thing tommorow.

I may come back to this poster.

Finish it. Find a way to make it less fcking polite.

Or I may leave it alone.
It might just be something I needed to say today

get out of my system.

Christ, I’ve been feeling such a horrible weight on me

like I would never be able to release myself from the Studio

and the work that’s come before.

With this early morning drawing,

I feel hope return

the weight beginning to lift.

It’s gonna be alright.

On the other side of this

is ever.