I walked into the lounge and there he was, asleep in the warm and yellow light.
Read MoreWhat I wrote on the beam in my kitchen in 2002, rephotographed from the magazine 2017
This too will pass
I came across an old magazine while shifting Dad yesterday, an old New Zealand House and Garden with an eight page story about me in it. Mum had kept for 15 years. She always was proud of me.
Read MoreBoy with his bubble on my parent's wall, December 2017
Taking it all down
It will be strange though, to no longer have a place to go back to which is full of my mother's things. She loved her things. My parents have moved around a lot in their lives, so we as a family don't have a family home as such. What I didn't realise until now is that my mother's things were our family home. She was like a turtle and carried what mattered to her with her wherever she went. But as I said to one of my sisters, she no longer needs them now.
Read MoreTie a yellow ribbon, 6 December 2017
Tie a yellow ribbon
I was getting my morning coffee from the excellent the village snob down by the riverside yesterday, and came across these two ribbons. One yellow, one black.
I wondered who put them there and why. A memory of a kiss? Some kind of grieving?
Read MoreNadine's photograph of remember love, 2017
Such a beautiful dream
I dreamt last night that I called to him, and he came to me.
In the dark, with words I couldn't quite catch.
I woke up feeling open and tender. It was so nice to feel him with me, even if it was in a dream.
It's good to remember desire. That particular kind of longing, warm and hot right down deep.
I feel expanded today.
Read MoreKitchen window curtain in the breeze, 3 December 2017
This is what I hold on to
Standing at the kitchen bench yesterday I was thinking of my mother gone, shoving corn chips in my mouth not because I was hungry but because I felt lost without her, and wanted to ease the ache of it. I looked across to the window, maybe a noise outside made me turn. I noticed the curtain moving in the warm afternoon breeze.
I paid attention. I made this photograph. I find it beautiful.
Read MoreThe last photograph. 26 August 2017
In loving memory
This is the last photograph of her and me.
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